


I Really Think It's The Liquor Though (But It Could Be Your Body Too)

by TheatricallyColorful



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: But they still love each other, Established Relationship, FrostIron - Freeform, M/M, Or when they fight over something stupid and shallow, They'll end it when the world ends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-01-23
Packaged: 2017-11-26 14:51:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheatricallyColorful/pseuds/TheatricallyColorful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Tony should never, ever go out in public together. Their shameless flirting and near-fucking around town have sent gossip and scandal across New York, and that apparently isn't even enough so they go partying in a gay bar. As if they weren't heart-stoppingly mischievous enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Really Think It's The Liquor Though (But It Could Be Your Body Too)

**Author's Note:**

> Second piece of FrostIron, please be kinder. Uh, read and enjoy....?

New York is nothing short of scandalized when Loki and Tony go public.

But the Avengers, and SHIELD, are even more scandalized.

"Do you realize what you're even doing?" Steve hollered, pointing wildly at Loki, and jabbed his finger at Tony again. The two only sported matching shit-eating grins and their trademark _cannot-give-a-fuck_ stances.

Bruce tried to calm himself; no one wanted to deal with the Other Guy when Tony  _was dating Loki._

He didn't even know who to be sorry for, the Avengers who would hear everything on this relationship, even if they wanted this or not, New York for the impending shitstorm to kingdom come, or Tony, when Thor finds out about his and Loki's... affairs.

"How can you be so irresponsible and selfish, Tony?! He might kill you in your freaking sleep and you'd never know!" Steve shouted, pacing madly like a caged predator. Loki rolled his eyes and Tony only laughed, a full-bellied laugh no one had ever heard before.  No one had ever heard Tony Stark laugh sincerely. Except for Pepper. That was one person who had seen the real Tony Stark, as real as the man would let himself be seen, out of the suit, without the arc reactor to protect his fragile heart.

"Oh please, he's too busy enjoying the carnal pleasures of my flesh to contemplate killing me," Tony teases, wrapping a casual arm around Loki's waist and the god doesn't flinch, doesn't try to stop him, only relaxes into his touch, with a curve of lips that might be a smile.

Clint stares at them for one moment and suddenly has an arrow cocked and pointed straight where Loki's heart should be (if his anatomy was similar to a human's, Bruce thought animatedly. I wonder if he would let me know) and says very carefully, without any tone or inflection, "Alright Liesmith, where the fuck did you get the Tesseract from, huh, motherfucker?"

Loki snorts. "I don't have the Tesseract, Barton, If I did, I wouldn't be even here. I would be taking over the world and turning the streets into ice cream." Tony lets out a squeak of delight. "You can do that, babe? Why didn't you tell me? Oh I'd love to see New York's major highways turned into pistachio ice cream!" He licks his lips with a catlike grin.

Steve takes a moment to gape at them, and turns to Natasha. "Why aren't you protesting? This  _insane Norse god probably brainwashed one of our teammates!"_ Steve's moral compass stays firmly stuck pointing north, and his indignation coils up to show in his face.

Natasha shrugged. "Firstly, if Loki did use the Tesseract to control Tony, his eyes would be the coldest shade of ice blue. Besides. why use the Tesseract to seduce the most easily seduced man in the Avengers?"

Steve barely batted an eyelash, even though Natasha brought up a strong point.

Clint refused to put the arrow down.

"Hey Legolas, watch you're pointing that thing. I didn't design you new arrows to use my boyfriend as target practice," Tony remarks dangerously, eyeing the cocked arrow is suspicion, and his body languages indicates (as Natasha takes mental note of), the slight twist of the torso, that he was deadset on protecting Loki.

"Well Stark, consider this a favor. When you wake up, you'll thank me," Clint sneers.

Bruce finally gets the Other Guy calm enough to speak up. "How long has this been going on?"

Tony looks thoughtful for a while, mentally counting the months, weeks and days. "Well, it's been nearly a year and a half since Loki and his army of fugly Chitauri tried to take over New York. So I guess, ten months. It took us weeks to get past the "How about a drink" phase and all the trust issues we had to navigate through."

Everyone gaped at them.

"How'd you hide it from Earth's mightiest heroes?" Clint asked disbelievingly, arrow slightly lowered.

Loki shrugged. "I'm a god."

Bruce snorts. "Should explain a lot of things."

-

After they go public to the Avengers, they go public to the... well, public.

Two hours later, Youtube, Tumblr and Twitter all crashed simultaneously as the news spread around and everyone tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

Tony and Loki were just amused, even if the press all crowded around the Stark Tower like a bunch of pests, snapping pictures and ambushing anyone going in and out the building.

They had the sheer misfortune of trying to bug Fury.

"Hey, hey, you heard of Stark's new boytoy?"

"Yeah patchy, give us the scoop!"

Fury twitched slightly at the nickname and bristled. Looking menacingly around him, he quietly replied, "Anyone I catch within fifteen feet of this building will never report back to their respective buildings."

The press stayed pretty far away after that.

But alas, couldn't the great Iron Man and the god of lies catch a break? They were only dating after all. It wasn't like it was a match made in hell (but Steve greatly suspected it was).

"Stark, explain yourself." Fury barked, storming inside the common room, while Loki and Tony were watching Breakfast at Tiffany's (it wasn't a chick flick, it was a  _classic_ ), sprawled on each other's laps. Fury stopped short and raised an eyebrow. It didn't have the same sass Loki's action did, though, but it did enough justice in the haughtiness department.

"Well, I'm the boyfriend of one god of lies. Any questions?" Tony answers, not even turning to face Fury.

"Yeah? I got one. It's good. HOW?"

"Well, Nick, I took the classic woo and bed technique. Gets them every time," Tony laughs. Then glances at the rage on Fury's face. "Not like you would know, for the record."

"Stark, you are dealing with a potentially insane god and calling him your  _boyfriend._ I personally think you're emotionally compromised, and I suggest you give yourself up." Tony is unfazed by the words and Loki is half-asleep.

"Yeah, yeah," he murmurs absentmindedly. "I'll get back to you on that. Hey, wanna check out a cool new feature of the Tower? I find it pretty handy in dealing with the likes of you. JARVIS, eject Nick Fury. Aim for SHIELD."

_"Are you sure this is wise, sir?"_

"Of course it is, JARVIS. Let 'em rip!"

_"Initializing eject. Target: SHIELD. 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1. Ejecting one Director Fury from the premises."_

With a comical grimace, Nick Fury flew out of the open window and landed, rather safely, but a little traumatizingly into his office.

Maria Hill yelped with surprise. "Sir, what's going on?"

Fury growled, "Goddamned Stark literally booted me out of his fucking Tower. I want a watch on them. Anything out of the ordinary, bust out the god-proof handcuffs Dr. Strange helped make."

Maria Hill took a moment to compose herself and nodded.

-

When Loki and Tony take their first public date around town, people gape at them in the streets because really, Iron Man and the psychopath who nearly destroyed New York, eating hotdogs together?

They wandered around parks, breathed in the fine sights of the Big Apple and generally gave anyone a near- heart attack.

They once were spotted in a Starbucks booth, making out with each other like the world was ending and they could never do it again.

There was also the terrifying incident of all major roads turned into different flavors of ice cream, and people began referring to it as, "Pistachio Street" and the like.

There was also the endless Stark Industries functions, where Tony and Loki were perfectly charming, if not blatantly flirty. "Hey gorgeous," Tony would greet, while Loki would butter them up so slick they could slide all over the Met on their backs.

The couple did a lot together, shit or not, but New York should've seen it coming the moment the two stepped inside the gay bar.

Tony was dressed to kill, as casual as he thought a bar deserved, and Loki was _gorgeous._ They could barely get their hands off each other long enough to enter the bar.

The first thing Loki registered was the sights.

Tightly jammed bodies, moving in almost synchronization to each other, moving and grounding to the alien beat. Red and blue lights flickering left and right, bathing everyone in a strange glow. The lights hit Tony, and made him look beyond mortal. Without really thinking, he fisted Tony's shirt, pulling the shorter man closer, dragging his lips against the other's in a frenzied fight of dominance and hazy lust.

They spent the rest of the night trying not to fuck each other on the dance floor, and taking every dirtily named drink they could in the bar.

It was just random luck that a licensed officiator was wedding two men right in front of them.

And Tony didn't really know what made him do it. It could've been the sheer inebriation, or the way Loki's body made his own do  _very bad things,_ and the way his heart constricted (as much as it could, with the shrapnel and all) when their skin lost contact.

So he dragged the tempramental, crazy, mischievous, silvertongued (oh trust him, he knows that tongue pretty well)  _divine,_ Norse god with the daddy issues to rival his own to the licensed (but drunk) officiator.

And they got hitched, the witnesses a group of drunk gay men and a disinterested bartender who kept muttering, "Don't go past the bar."

The shitstorm, and the livid look on Steve's face was worth it, as well as the admiring wonder that gleamed in Loki's eyes, and the unfathomable emotion that passed over them both.

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort of a "Yay my first work got positive reviews I'm such a dork" story. So I set my mp3 player on shuffle and away to the land of magical song fics! God I have problems


End file.
